Gone

Today, it hit me.

I no longer have my own privacy.

You see, this morning {like every time I need just a couple minutes to myself to regroup}, I put in a video for Brooklyn in hopes of her being so distracted that she doesn’t notice I’m not in the room. I slowly inch towards my bedroom, quietly shutting the door and sit down with a sigh of contentment.

Silence. Glorious silence. 

I usually give it two minutes before I hear a pitter patter of toddler feet come running down the hallway, yelling “momma,” then the pounding on the door begins. Some days when that break is really needed, I’m able to move to the back bathroom for one extra minute of solitude before her patience (and mine– from her yelling) runs out.

Well, this morning, it happened. She opened the door!

Brooklyn has only ever pounded on the door before, waiting for me to come and let her in. Which meant, I was in control.

That no longer is the case. Many thoughts went through my head. Where will I go now? The bedroom was the last resort, a place she wasn’t supposed to be able to enter without my help! Now, I’m the helpless one! 

Having your sacred place of quietness taken away is a feeling no mom ever wants to have. While we love our children dearly, sometimes we just need those couple minutes of time away to re-energize before the hours of headache and chaos begin again.

So, now I have a new problem to figure out this weekend: if shut doors won’t stop her anymore, what will?

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